Still married in my mind

That one date grew into something I never imagined, I gained a family outside of my Mom, and twin. I gained a new set of amazing parents, they saw the happiness I bought to their daughters. They saw the way she would light up talking about me and my dreams. I gained a dog named Barrett. As I spent more time with her, our connection grew. It felt like a Disney movie. I KNOW, cliché.

She asked me often to stay at her parent’s home and then go to school from there in the mornings. I was knee deep into nursing school, it was a rough time. She then told me one day she found a house in Milford and wanted me to move in with her. I had never lived with someone! I always had a barracks room and roommate. We had a shared common area and separate doors. I could just lock my door to not see them. This idea of moving in with a girl I was dating was TERRIFYING. What would she think about the raw me? What if I let a fart out and she say get out? Or would I remember to put down the toilet seat when I was done?

I pulled the trigger again she was the first woman I felt like I could spend a future with. She drove me to be the person I am today, strong, motivated and passionate. We had bumps when we first started living. The biggest being COVID hit and we got locked into the house together. She was working from home and I was doing nursing school remote as well. I thought our relationship would end like many others did during this time.

It didn’t, It made us a stronger couple, we did everything together. We even found and adopted a coonhound named Jack Daniels. I could write a whole book of his personality and ability to jump out of locked windows. We continued to build a family and roots in Milford that we watered with memories and love.

I graduated nursing school and began as a emergency room nurse, she moved to a teaching job in Camden. We had a simple life. But that’s what we wanted. We wanted to grow old together and build a life we could be happy just us.

We got engaged before the next Christmas. I remember asking her parents if I could marry their daughter. I promised I would keep her safe. I also assured them I would make them proud. Her mother began to cry. Her dad fought off tears and said, “We would love to have you in our family, Jeremy.” I remember proposing on Barrett’s dog bed because she knew I had the ring. I just didn’t know when I should do it. I also didn’t want to ask for her hand during Christmas like the rest of the world. Like the rest of the world.

She was so happy! She wanted to tell the world. I remember taking her to dinner. She asked for a picture with the ring on.

I remember thinking how did I get so dam lucky? I went from someone who didn’t think love was in my cards while I was in the Army. Now, I am traveling the world with my best friend and about to marry her.

OUR FIRST BIG FIGHT came later the following year around Christmas! Every year big milestones happen this date. I still remember it to this day! I am ashamed of how I went into defensive mode and wanted to protect my feelings and she did too. I thought we were going to be over after that. I couldn’t sleep for days. I was tormented by the pain I caused her. I also feared losing the only woman that saw me for who I am. I prayed for a second chance and god gave me one.